(no subject)

[millari]

So after that great, cathartic, optimistic post, I'm frustrated to say that I fell into more of the same patterns yesterday. I had decided that I wanted to beef up the lesson plan I'd made for the Bridgewater class, since I knew the professor wasn't going to post the lesson plans on the class website until Tuesday. I knew I could get it to him by sometime today and it would be no skin off his nose to enter in the new and improved version.

So after a very lovely breakfast here at the homestead with omnia_mutantur and her beau, and some awesome Boggle matches, they went home and I told myself, "Ok, now the rest of the day you're going to spend punching up that lesson plan so you can send it to him tonight."

I can see in retrospect that the problem was that what I had in my mind was an unrealistic goal. I wanted to make it into something that represents at least a few weeks of work - in only a few hours. This is always my problem with procrastination. I always start something way too late for the scope I was envisioning in my mind in order to make it "good enough".

I could not break out of the need to have this destructive, unrealistic goal. Instead of dealing with the fact that it was unrealistic and scaling it down, I avoided the whole issue and procrastinated - much like I did all September and October in the first place. Extremely frustrating.

I think a big aspect of the problem is that I don't know how to reduce it into something that I can accomplish in time, and something that I will be happy with. I've never been good at quantifying these sorts of things. I just leave the goal sketchy and formless, and of course, intimidating and virtually unachieveable.

Grrr....

So I'm going to try and sit down in a couple of minutes and try and figure out how much time it will take me to accomplish everything in my lesson objectives. If it ends up being too much time to make it, I'm going to try really hard to make the tough decisions and reduce.

Wish me luck. I will break this gremlin's back one day.

Comments

[soulstorage.livejournal.com]

The harder you are on yourself the harder it will be to break things down. I tend to often set unrealistic expectations for myself when it comes to doing work for my job too. I know how hard it is to plan without being overwhelmed. I will help you as much as I can tho I do not know how much I can but Ill try. Lets kick that gremlin's ass.